Soine: Pale Sleep
by Querel
Summary: A much needed feelings jam for the most precious palebros. For Querel's Shipping Wall: Prime Pairing #4


"So, it's like a date."

Karkat rolled his eyes and continued his efforts in shoving John out of the door.

"Yes, fine, if you want to think of it that way," he grumbled, giving the bony shoulders in front of him another push. John, still exerting most of his weight backwards just to spite the shorter troll, turned his face and smirked, all buck-toothed and douchey.

"You gonna kiss him?" The question snuck out in conspiratorial whispers beneath a rather impressive waggle of eyebrows. Karkat stared back at John with incredulity; it widened in his eyes and twisted his features in disgust. "Sloppy troll-boy makeouts?"

"Sure! Why the fuck not!" Karkat fumed, feeling his neck and shoulders heat considerably under the thick, black cables of his sweater. "I'm prepared to drown later this evening in an ocean of magenta colored saliva. Be sure to stop by tomorrow to dredge me out of my respite block floor! Now, kindly get the fuck out so I can apply my lipgloss in peace!"

All movement was halted in the moment when bodies collided, effectively constructing a rather lopsided troll/human sandwich.

"Whoa there, brother." Gamzee backed up a step and steadied John's shoulders. "Any bruises?"

John readjusted his glasses and blinked a few times, eventually cracking a grin.

"Nope!" he said. "See you guys later! Have fun drowning!" He sidestepped and went skipping away with his hands in his pockets.

Gamzee watched the boy with a lazy grin and a shrug and then turned back, finding a small and seething Karkat where he hadn't quite expected to see him. The most he had to show for it was a slightly startled blink and then the smile came back.

"Hey there, best friend."

"Just…," Karkat shook his head and reached out, snagging Gamzee's wrist, "Just get inside."

"Sure enough." Gamzee wiggled his fingers until he caught Katkat's and they walked back into the hive together.

* * *

"Hold still, you're making this hell."

Karkat gathered as much of Gamzee's tangled, curly mane into his hands and wound the elastic around it. He gave a satisfied nod and then pulled Gamzee's shoulders back to rest against his knees.

"You sure I can go first?" Gamzee asked, blinking up at Karkat with that ever-present smile on his fangs.

"I'm going to prolong this as long as possible," Karkat mumbled, brushing Gamzee's bangs away from his forehead. "I'd rather fuss over you for hours than squander time on my own nonsense."

"Aw, come on now, bro," Gamzee said gently. "You've got a beautiful self there. And you can put every boondollar on my wantin' to all up and pamper it."

"Yeugh," Karkat snorted, his lip curling in a smear as he picked up a washcloth and started swabbing away the facepaint that was smeared over Gamzee's features. "Don't talk about it. This is your turn."

Gamzee chuckled and closed his eyes as Karkat cleaned him off. The cloth was warm and damp and Karkat's fingers were gentle against Gamzee's cheeks as he muttered about the irritating consistency of greasepaint.

"I keep…havin' these visions," Gamzee whispered, settling a bit more comfortably against Karkat's legs. "Myself and Equius and little Nepeta keep bubblin' up in my think pan…." Gamzee paused and swallowed hard as Karkat smeared the rag over his lips. "And…and we're just…getting' our motherfuckin' chill on."

Gamzee opened his eyes again and looked up at Karkat. He found an attentive and worried gaze looking down at him and soft, firm fingers cupping his jaw: steady.

"Go on," came the encouraging murmur. Karkat didn't smile, but Gamzee tried to smile for him.

"We never talk or nothin'," he continued, "but they laugh with me. 'Bout nothin'. Whole lotta nothin'. But…uh…." Gamzee sniffled, bumping his cheek against the washcloth when Karkat smoothed it along his face. "Makes me that…motherfuckin' happy-sad, you know?"

"Mmh," Karkat agreed, dropping the rag now that he was done. "How often?"

"Days when I don't get to much sleepin'," Gamzee rasped. He coughed a couple times to clear his throat. "…so…there's lots of times."

"Should've done this sooner," Karkat muttered under his breath. "Dammit, I'm sorry, Gamzee. I've been a fucking shit Moirail."

"Hush all that fuss, brother," Gamzee said, grabbing Karkat's hand and holding it against his face. "I got you here with me at this moment. 's all that motherfuckin' matters."

* * *

Karkat nestled himself into the pile of old jumpers and crumpled pages from his programming manuals. He ground his teeth together and let out a long, hissing sigh as he pushed the shoes off his feet.

"Bro, relax," Gamzee said, peeling off Karkat's socks and tossing them aside. "This gon' be good, I promise."

"Don't take it as a personal offense when I say I don't believe you," Karkat said, flexing his toes before Gamzee pulled off the other sock.

"You will, you will," Gamzee assured him.

In the dark of Karkat's room, Gamzee put Karkat's feet in his lap and by the twisting haze of incense, they let the world outside fade away into the dusk.

Gamzee worked his thumbs up the arch of Karkat's foot, making the smaller troll groan softly.

"Hurt?" he asked Karkat.

"No," Karkat sighed, burrowing his shoulders a little deeper with a shift and rustle. "No, no…."

"Lemme know if it's gettin' all rough on ya, 'eright?" Gamzee eased up the pressure just a bit, regardless. "And let the motherfuckin' deep wickedness just come pouring out of you and into my hands."

Karkat opened his eyes and lifted his head to glance at his Moirail. Gamzee was completely focused on his job, smiling with his own face and humming. A gentle song that Karkat didn't know and it probably wasn't even real. But it was familiar, for whatever reason.

"John…," Karkat began, his voice with very little volume and the heat flushing through him again in embarrassment, "he still won't acknowledge the fact that I'm in l-love with him."

"Breakin' your heart?"

"On a daily basis," Karkat grumbled. He curled his toes and flexed his knee a bit, encouraging Gamzee to pay more attention to his other foot. "He comes by to hang out and spend time doing a whole bunch of pointless nonsense and is completely blind to my flushed feelings for him."

"You told him?" Gamzee picked up Karkat's left foot and pushed gently along the sole.

"I did," Karkat said, staring up at the ceiling. "He thought it was a joke. Congratulated me on besting him in his Prankster's Gambit." Karkat smacked his hands over his eyes and growled. "And I _know_ that he doesn't think it's a joke anymore because now he keeps talking about me and other people! Like just today he asked if you and I were gonna make out, I mean, what the actual fuck?"

"Well, you have been a 'lil frustrated, bro," Gamzee said, squeezing delicately at Karkat's foot. "Boy knows you could use some sweet kisses to get that boilin' point a bit more chill."

"Okay, that barely made sense and was more or less unhelpful," Karkat said. "My point is that he keeps rubbing it in my face that I'm alone and he has no interest in me." A softness in silence snuck in and surrounded the two of them, leaving only the little huffs of Karkat's exhales and Gamzee's non-sequitur humming.

"Friend," Gamzee finally said after a few minutes of nothing, "if you got tears you been keeping, you need to be lettin' them get their flow on."

Karkat bit down on his lip and swallowed around the hard lump in his throat as his eyes began to ache.

* * *

A small hand reached out and traced the slippery purple line down Gamzee's cheek, swiping away the tear at the end of it.

"How much," Karkat asked quietly, settling in the pile and hooking his feet around Gamzee's bony knees. "How much did you love him?"

Gamzee gasped at his inhale, wet and desperate before taking Karkat's hands and burying his face in them. "That boy had so much of my love," he sobbed.

Karkat sniffled a bit, feeling the hot slick of tears on his palms. Gamzee trembled and pressed closer, trying to stifle his weeping. Those smaller hands moved from Gamzee's eyes and wrapped around his head twirling through the strands in his ponytail.

"I know you didn't have much the nicer feelings for him," Gamzee hiccupped, "but that boy…he…there was never a dark wish muddying that brown heart. His life was the truest motherfuckin' miracle; his soul…."

Karkat sighed and put his nose to Gamzee's head. Smelled like the sea and sweat and fragrant smoke. Like Gamzee.

"Tell me the things you wish you could've said," Karkat encouraged him gently. "Come on, get it out."

"I don't think he ever did know how red I was for him," Gamzee whispered, his voice cracking against Karkat's sternum. "Red as the blood in my most precious palebro's body."

Karkat scoffed but didn't say anything as he tugged Gamzee closer.

"Don't stop crying until you can't cry anymore," he muttered to the tangled locks.

"Heh, don't have to tell me twice, bro." Gamzee tightened his hold on Karkat, pulling him nearer until their bodies made a single line of contact. Karkat remained silent, carding through Gamzee's messy bangs as the gangly troll wept gently against him. Again, the sick pulse of guilt muddled through Karkat's thoughts.

Angrily, he shoved it away with the silent promise that he'd never let it get so bad again. It was more important to focus on Gamzee in that moment, not his own internally directed annoyance.

"One day," Karkat murmured to him, "we'll find a bubble where he is. And you can tell him how much you love him."

Gamzee sighed and snuffled.

"Gamzee, I swear if you get snot on my shirt, I'm gonna turn your nostrils inside out."

* * *

"Come on, now, just take it off."

Gamzee tugged Karkat's sweater over his head and tossed it aside. The glower on Karkat's face made Gamzee giggle.

"Ya'll got that wicked precious pout goin' on," he said, gathering up the huge blanket behind him like a cape before flopping down on top of Karkat, covering them both.

"Dammit, Gamzee!" Karkat struggled under Gamzee's lanky, shirtless form. The highblooded teenager just laughed, bundling Karkat up in his arms.

"You're the cuddliest little wriggler ever," he cooed.

"I'm not a wriggler," Karkat snapped.

"Shoosh, only snuggles now."

Karkat huffed and stared for a long while at the strong definition of Gamzee's collar bone before tucking his head under Gamzee's chin. Long, bony fingers stroked up and down his spine, from shoulder to hips and after a few moments of silence—when the open windows let in the soft chirrups of the night bugs and the moon-chilled breezes of the dusk—Gamzee started singing.

Low and raspy, but somehow perfect. A cradle to Karkat's tumbling thoughts and a buffer to the constant anger he nursed in his innermost.

"_Metaphor for a missing moment…pull me into your perfect circle…one womb…one chain…one resolve…liberate this will…to release us all…."_

Karkat considered asking what the song was from, but that would mean interrupting and Gamzee's low and breathless verses were doing wonders for him. The words were weird and maybe a little disturbing, but hey, that was Gamzee. It worked for him. A reminder of his Moirail, the one whose love he could always count on.

When the song was over, Karkat opened his eyes again, just a little. He felt the bump and nudge of Gamzee's face against the top of his head and little squeaky noises as Gamzee kissed him over and over again.

Karkat's cheeks flushed gently and his fingers gripped a little tighter to Gamzee's shoulders. He used the leverage to pull himself a little closer and place his own cluster of kisses at Gamzee's neck. Against his cheek, Karkat could feel the low vibrations of Gamzee's purring and then the close and comforting hold of those long arms wrapping around him and holding Karkat tightly.

He could barely move, save to continue lavishing those little kisses wherever he could reach and the tender twitch of his digits clutching at Gamzee's back, but Karkat was so secure. Their bare skin was warm, pressed together. And with the soothe of Gamzee's steady breaths and his ghosting touches along Karkat's back, the smaller troll fell asleep easily.

* * *

Gamzee peeked into the bedroom and smiled. Karkat was still sleeping. And that was the best achievement Gamzee could ever lay claim to. His feelings jam skill were so mad, he could coax the most accomplished insomniac into long, deep sleep.

Quietly, Gamzee snuck back to the pile of ripped pages, sweaters and blankets and nuzzled his way into the spot he'd vacated. But the slight jostle was enough to make Karkat's eyes blink open. Gamzee sighed and gave a lopsided smile to his bedraggled Moirail.

"Didn't mean to all up and disturb your dreamin'," he murmured.

"Mhhnm…." Karkat rubbed at his eyes and yawned, stretching his arms out and arching his back. "Where you been?"

"Lookin' for markers," Gamzee said. "I found one."

"What do you need a marker for?" Karkat asked, pushing himself up on his elbows.

"For a present to give you." Gamzee smiled and leaned in, giving Karkat a kiss. Karkat's eyes widened a little but then he just sighed and pressed back a kiss in return. Soft…slow…pale as the pinkest dawn….

"Don't see how you need a marker to kiss me," he murmured when Gamzee drew away again.

"Heheh, nah, that was a different present." Gamzee kissed Karkat's forehead once before ducking away and uncapping the marker he'd tucked into his waistband. He tugged the blanket away from Karkat's feet and pulled them into his lap once more.

Karkat raised an eyebrow and watched as Gamzee began drawing on his toes.

"What are you doing?"

"Givin' your toes some smiles," Gamzee told him. "You don't smile too much, bro, but I thought maybe if you remembered that what's holdin' you up got smiles, you might more inclined to do such a wonder yourself."

Karkat snorted, unable to help the grin that bloomed on his lips.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

Gamzee looked up, blinking. Karkat pushed himself forward until he caught the other troll's face in his hands.

"I'm so pale for you," Karkat admitted in a gentle whisper. He kissed the tip of Gamzee's nose and rested their foreheads together, mirroring the fangy smile Gamzee gave him as he thought about sweet dreams and happy toes.


End file.
